COPS Crappy Officers Performing Stupidly
by FinalBananaHammock
Summary: Could you imagine Duncan McMillan as a police captain? That first sentence should have informed you that everything is about to go horribly wrong, so strap in and buckle up, because we're about to take you to a ballroom blitz. Rated T.


_Ruling The Streets- Introduction_

A home is normally somewhere where you would sleep. Possibly where the rest of your family could live, so on and so forth. But no one has a home like our "hero". He owns an apartment, but more often will be found sleeping at his desk in the police station.

_"RING!"_

"Urgh…"

_"RING!"_

"Huh, what?"

_"RING!"_

Duncan McMillan **(Cocky Police Captain) **jerked his head up from his desk. Embarrassingly, he found himself drooling on some "important" documents he had received earlier. Something about murder; same old same old.

_"RING!"_

Duncan sighed wearily. "Yeah, yeah…" He snatched up the phone before it could go to his voicemail _(Hi, this is Duncan McMillan's office phone. If you are receiving this message than I probably don't give a shit about your call. Have a nice day!)_

It was his Lieutenant on the other line. "Duncan, we have a situation down-town." Noah Coolidgebeard **(Fairly Unmotivated Police Lieutenant)** informed his captain.

Duncan yawned, stretching out his arms. "I'm sure that you can handle it, buddy!" The captain encouraged.

He heard Noah snort, unimpressed, on the other line. "I didn't really expect you to care." The line went dead.

Noah clicked off the phone, and observed the "situation". He and the rookie he was training had unfortunately let the criminal get away several minutes ago. But that wasn't really the issue. "So…" Noah tried desperately not to laugh. "How are we going to get you out of there?" He snickered at Tyler.

"Oh, ha, ha!" He jerked again, trying to remove his head from the metal wire fence.

Courtney Strike **(Somewhat Mood-Swing Prone Chief of Police) **reclined slightly in her chair. The three foot stack of paperwork tilted from side to side dangerously, threatening to "decorate" her floor. The chief of police continued to enjoy the afterglow of paperwork, knowing that the first ever female police chief was still on top of things.

The door to her immaculately clean office flew open. Bridgette Warner **(Assistant Chief of Police/Yes-Woman) **stood in the doorway, an ever-present clipboard hanging from her neck by a beaded necklace. "We have an order for a new uniform in Captain McMillan's district." she informed her boss.

Courtney closed her eyes for a minute. "Why are you telling me this?" she waved away her assistant, who was easily capable of taking care of something like that.

Bridgette blinked a few times, as if genuinely confused. "But you're always so interested in what goes on in McMillan's district." she stated.

Courtney lurched forward and slammed her palms down on the mahogany desk. "I am _not _interested in what that _cretin, _that _vermin _of society spends his time doing!" she nearly screamed defensively.

Bridgette watched very detachedly as the stack of papers leaned left…right…and fell to the ground, spilling all of them on the floor around her sandals. She looked at the chief with a raised eyebrow.

"Shut up and go call the janitor." Courtney growled.

Duncan stood in the main lobby of his police station. The entire front wall was glass, so that you could see the street. Upon entering you would see a door leading to the criminal holding cells and their conference room and on the right a door to Duncan and Noah's office. In the direct center facing the door was Cody Scott **(Decently Incompetent Secretary)**. He typed away furiously on a computer that appeared to be from the Pleistocene era.

"Whadya want Duncan?" He asked, referring briefly to an open file on his unfortunately small desk.

"Have everyone come back to the base." Duncan smirked. "We've got plenty to get done."

**Notes from the (Awesome) Author-**

**For anyone who didn't know, this is a rewrite of another story by a different name. If you really wanna read it, then go find it on my page. The writing quality of that isn't really all that great, and I think that I'm going to give this version **essentially **the same plot. So no worries.**

**About this actual story in itself, this chapter is dramatically short because it's simply an introduction to show you my writing style and a few of the characters. There are a few more regulars to be introduced, but at least we have our main character. Ya know, whatever.**

**New chapter soon to make up for this shortie!**


End file.
